Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. (carl sagan quotes)
Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation. (michael jordan quotes)
Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you want to be treated. (lou holtz quotes)
Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it. (lou holtz quotes)
Science is a way of thinking much more than it is a body of knowledge. (carl sagan quotes)
Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen. (michael jordan quotes)
Monday is a state of mind. Put on your positive pants and get stuff done.
Employers are at their happiest on mondays. Employees are at their happiest on friday
Monday are the start of the work week which offer beginings 52 times a year
It’s Monday set new gols work hard be awesome .
Monday is the perfect day to correct last week’s mistakes.
Happy Friday Starting today, i need to forget what’s gone Appreciate what still remains and look foward to what’s coming next
Happy Friday Wishing you a day full of sunny smiles and a happy thoughts
Happy Friday It feels good to be alive to see one more Friday in life I know you love the day just as musch as I do.
Happy Friday Friday is a blessing because its let me spend time with the most amazing people in the world and it’s my family A very HAPPY FRIDAY to all of you .
Happy Friday Starting today, I need to forget what’s gone Appreciate what still remains and look forward to what’s coming next .
A rebellion is not a revolution it may ultimately lead to that end.
In the future society, i.e the communist society that we want to build, we are not going to establish charity institution, as there shall be no needy or poor, and no alms- giving and aims-taking.
Revolution did not necessarily involve sanguinary strife. it was not a cult of bomb & pistol. they may sometimes be more means for its achievement.
This is not the time to marry. my country is calling me. i have taken a vow to serve the country with my heart and soul.
I never had any desire to defend myself, and never did i seriously think about it.
copyright to allabouthere.comThe best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. –
We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence. –
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. –
Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. –
Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light. –
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. –
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. –
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision. –
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. –
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. –
Alone we can do so little_ together we can do so much-helen-keller-quotesSecurity is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.
Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. –
We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. –
The highest result of education is tolerance.
We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough-helen-keller-quotesI long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. –
True happiness… is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. –
The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of tiny pushes of each honest worker.
Life is either a great adventure or nothing.
One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.
When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see.
Knowledge is love and light and vision.
Until the great mass of the people shall be filled with the sense of responsibility for each other’s welfare, social justice can never be attained.
To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug.
No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.
While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.
The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
It is hard to interest those who have everything in those who have nothing.
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. –
Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all – the apathy of human beings.
Once I knew only darkness and stillness… my life was without past or future… but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.
I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
Of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful.
Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.
It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.
All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.
It’s wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky. Behind me and before me is God and I have no fears.
It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.
People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires the same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
I can see, and that is why I can be happy, in what you call the dark, but which to me is golden. I can see a God-made world, not a manmade world.
Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived. –
Literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disenfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourses of my book friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness.
The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill.
What a blind person needs is not a teacher but another self.
College isn’t the place to go for ideas.
It is not possible for civilization to flow backwards while there is youth in the world. Youth may be headstrong, but it will advance it allotted length.
There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his.
It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.
As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision.
We may have found a cure for most evils; but we have found no remedy for the worst of them all, the apathy of human beings.
No one has a right to consume happiness without producing it.
My share of the work may be limited, but the fact that it is work makes it precious.
No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is, he feels that happiness is his indisputable right.
Strike against war, for without you no battles can be fought!
Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.
Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
Many people know so little about what is beyond their short range of experience. They look within themselves – and find nothing! Therefore they conclude that there is nothing outside themselves either.
copyright to succeefeed.comIt is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. –
Politics have no relation to morals.
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
It is double pleasure to deceive the deceiver.
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.
It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.
One who deceives will always find those who allow themselves to be deceived.
There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others.
The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. –
The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present. –
The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.
He who wishes to be obeyed must know how to command.
Before all else, be armed.
The wise man does at once what the fool does finally.
Severities should be dealt out all at once, so that their suddenness may give less offense; benefits ought to be handed ought drop by drop, so that they may be relished the more.
Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed, for if you merely offend them they take vengeance, but if you injure them greatly they are unable to retaliate, so that the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
Men should be either treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injuries – for heavy ones they cannot.
Never was anything great achieved without danger.
There are three kinds of intelligence: one kind understands things for itself, the other appreciates what others can understand, the third understands neither for itself nor through others. This first kind is excellent, the second good, and the third kind useless.
Whosoever desires constant success must change his conduct with the times.
Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
A prince never lacks legitimate reasons to break his promise.
When you disarm the people, you commence to offend them and show that you distrust them either through cowardice or lack of confidence, and both of these opinions generate hatred.
No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution. –
The main foundations of every state, new states as well as ancient or composite ones, are good laws and good arms you cannot have good laws without good arms, and where there are good arms, good laws inevitably follow.
It is necessary for him who lays out a state and arranges laws for it to presuppose that all men are evil and that they are always going to act according to the wickedness of their spirits whenever they have free scope.
Hatred is gained as much by good works as by evil.
God is not willing to do everything, and thus take away our free will and that share of glory which belongs to us.
I’m not interested in preserving the status quo; I want to overthrow it.
Hence it comes about that all armed Prophets have been victorious, and all unarmed Prophets have been destroyed.
War should be the only study of a prince. He should consider peace only as a breathing-time, which gives him leisure to contrive, and furnishes as ability to execute, military plans.
Of mankind we may say in general they are fickle, hypocritical, and greedy of gain.
Men rise from one ambition to another: first, they seek to secure themselves against attack, and then they attack others.
A wise ruler ought never to keep faith when by doing so it would be against his interests.
A son can bear with equanimity the loss of his father, but the loss of his inheritance may drive him to despair.
The fact is that a man who wants to act virtuously in every way necessarily comes to grief among so many who are not virtuous.
A return to first principles in a republic is sometimes caused by the simple virtues of one man. His good example has such an influence that the good men strive to imitate him, and the wicked are ashamed to lead a life so contrary to his example.
One change always leaves the way open for the establishment of others.
It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.
To understand the nature of the people one must be a prince, and to understand the nature of the prince, one must be of the people.
Princes and governments are far more dangerous than other elements within society.
Men are so simple and so much inclined to obey immediate needs that a deceiver will never lack victims for his deceptions.
The one who adapts his policy to the times prospers, and likewise that the one whose policy clashes with the demands of the times does not.
War is just when it is necessary; arms are permissible when there is no hope except in arms.
The wish to acquire more is admittedly a very natural and common thing; and when men succeed in this they are always praised rather than condemned. But when they lack the ability to do so and yet want to acquire more at all costs, they deserve condemnation for their mistakes.
The new ruler must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all.
Since it is difficult to join them together, it is safer to be feared than to be loved when one of the two must be lacking.
Benefits should be conferred gradually; and in that way they will taste better.
We cannot attribute to fortune or virtue that which is achieved without either.
There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt.
Men are so simple and yield so readily to the desires of the moment that he who will trick will always find another who will suffer to be tricked.
Tardiness often robs us opportunity, and the dispatch of our forces.
For among other evils caused by being disarmed, it renders you contemptible; which is one of those disgraceful things which a prince must guard against.
Whoever conquers a free town and does not demolish it commits a great error and may expect to be ruined himself.
The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love.
Nature that framed us of four elements, warring within our breasts for regiment, doth teach us all to have aspiring minds.
Men shrink less from offending one who inspires love than one who inspires fear. –
copyright to liveabout.comI refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. –
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others. –
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. –
Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. –
I refuse to join any club that would club that would have me as a memberA hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Humor is reason gone mad.
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have othersEither he’s dead or my watch has stopped.
I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.
My favourite poem is the one that starts ‘Thirty days hath September’ because it actually tells you something.
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can’t make head nor tail out of it.
I’m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it’s not raining. –
I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. –
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. –
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn’t educate America if they started at 6:30.
No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Go, and never darken my towels again.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution – this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
I remember the first time I had sex – I kept the receipt.
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!
I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?
Why, I’d horse-whip you if I had a horse.
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
copyright to moneyinc.comRice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah.’
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’, and hook up with them later.
My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don’t really know what’s happening down there. Who is the real hero?
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake.
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of somethingI haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means… it’s dirty.
Is-a-hippopotamus-a-hippopotamus-or-just-a-really-cool-OpotamusWhen someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read!
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.
Y’know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.
I’m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone’s life.
I wish I could play little league now. I’d be way better than before.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. –
It’s very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know because what if they don’t have hands? They’ll think you’re cocky.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. –
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down. –
Spaghetti… I can’t eat spaghetti, there’s too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I’ll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.
I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That’s like a free compliment and you don’t even gotta be smart to notice it.
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there’s someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, ‘I’m gonna go shave, too.’
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. –
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that… day.
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You’ll be mad, but it will be too late.
I like to play blackjack. I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
I’m gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
People teach their dogs to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny!
My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She’s an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.
I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.
It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. –
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. –
I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.